The Doghouse Again

Chapter One

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Private Message Form

To: YemmingOutthere-362

Subject field: Technogangs and Veterans?

Dated: 9 December 2035

Hello, Mr. Yemming. My name is Rei and I've been watching your videos for a few months and tend to like them. However, this newest one (about Urovi Day) sort of brought up one of my random little fascinations as of late, which are the Technogangs here in Tokyo.

Do you really think they have anything to do with veterans of the war? I can't really find anything about that in the stories I've read about them, nor any such an indication, even. Where did you find out about that and, while I know it might be too much to ask, who is your source?

I'll understand if you'd rather keep that to yourself but it'd be nice to do some looking for my personal experience, too.

Thanks for the videos, at least.




Limbomail: from Limbo! message sending service

To: Manchester Yashima

From: Rokuda Rei

Subject: It's not letting me reply to your message so here

Sent Date/Time: 09 December 203521:33

Hey Chester,

Today I learned that one of the pagan gods of Slavic Europe is associated with both the underworld and Santa.

And earlier, Limbo was telling me it was already next year (it even said "36", with no twenty...and it was December!). So my tablet is ready to celebrate early! (Twice!)

That's all I have to say to that. Good luck with your week, friend!

-- Rei-rei


Limbomail: from Limbo! message sending service

To: Rokuda Rei

From: Manchester Yashima

Subject: New girl giving me problems

Sent Date/Time: 10 December 203518:32


What's up, pally-dally? You up for going out to that new Pitbull Pub Friday night (or Saturday afternoon)? Those are the times I have open.

There should be a game then. Also fuck your Werecats, they got so lucky this weekend the league's probably questioning a rule change right now or they should be.

Figured I'd send you an email instead of just messagin you because I got shit going on tonight and I'm sure you do as well. But you should've saw what happened at the fuckin' office today, bud...

So I walk in with just this worst mood because the train got delayed cause some fuckin loser got himself arrested like in the car down from me for tryin to lug a case of hornets through Shibuya Station. Not only was I late, but today was specifically the only day I absolutely had to be on time. Big season for us over here you know.

Then I'm told that I missed the factory status meeting AND the next one was pushed up by two hours AND they had talked about bonuses when I wasn't there. So fuck, right? Very bad-lookin for me right now.



From: Rokuda Rei (re: New girl giving me problems)

Sent Date/Time: 10 December 203518:38

I don't really know why you tend to wait like that, Chester. Why do you need me to say "Go on...!"? Just gripe about your job in one sitting. Get it all out. All at once.

Have I not always "listened" to you?

-- Rei-rei


From: Manchester Yashima (re: New girl giving me problems - 3)

Sent Date/Time: 10 December 203518:56

Yeah whatever. Just let me finish!

I walk to my side of the office and the coffee machine's busted (I didn't get one at the station) and Makani says my usual assistant Denny is disgustingly sick and called in earlier. But before I could blow my lid she said Fumiko sent a girl from downstairs to fill-in.

Yeah I guess we have a stash of assistants that just jump up whenever somebody has to stay home for the day. Who knew? (Not me.)

But you know what that means...

This new gal ain't gonna know the intricate and fragile dealings of Superstore Relations and our new product coupons and whatnot. I didn't even know if she had any idea about the important New Years promotions and shit we got going on. As it happens...

I walk in my office and receive the most cheerful and respectful greeting from this short little gaijin girl with this nice brown hair and these distinct eyes (like they're...silver or somethin), and she tells me her name is Alex.

Alex then just casually mentions she handled all my outbox (previously backed-up about a week), she had the rough cut of the 2:00 slideshow ready, and that she was gonna call the IT guys about the coffee maker. It wasn't even fuckin 10 yet. Amazing work!

So right about when she drops off the notes from the factory status (and yeah, fuckin Haru tried sayin they weren't available till tomorrow), I start to say to myself that she's probably the best assistant I've ever seen, let alone be assisted by.

She's quick, good with the customers and other staff, and shit, does she ever have a smile on her. But that's all I'll say about that.

So, anyway, I tell her that she'd be gladly welcomed in SR on a permanent basis. I even told her I'd get Payroll to increase her wages a bit (which is automatic). But Alex got really quiet when I said this. I thought maybe I might've said something over the friendlier side of professional, if you get me there. But that would've been bad.

She asks me if I'll need her after lunch at all, and I didn't since we had that 2:00 with it being Monday. She asked to be excused to tend to other assignments she had in the building and, heck, she'd already served up my afternoon on a hotplate with potatoes and vinegar. So I let her off. Really a nice girl.


Then I looked at our employee files for anyone named "Alex". Sorry, just had to, nothing sick or anything. But it's not like that. For one...

There ISN'T an Alex at any of the departments here (I figured she might have been from HR or somethin) and I found the data for all the "Available Assistants" and there she was. But her name ain't Alex and she DEFINITELY ain't available...

Her name is Alexa Sanders, she started here almost a year ago, and she was born in July 2018. So do the math.

She's 17! Yeah. I never would've guessed with that kind of attitude.

She was nice but I almost feel weird just tellin you this. Probably for the best she declined the position of workin here fulltime, too.

Next time I'm gonna check the files FIRST.

Anyway how's your day goin?

Your long-winded friend,



Limbomail: from Limbo! message sending service

To: Rokuda Rei

From: Baishou Kazutoki

Subject: It's Monday night and that means Drinkchat with Rei

Send Date/Time: 10 December 203519:19

1. Read the subject.

2. Send invite to person listed as "From:"

3. Wait for acceptance if it ever comes

4. Think about number 3 a little bit more

5. Oh yeah don't forget it's Monday Night Drinkchat


From: Rokuda Rei (re: It's Monday night and that means...)

Sent Date/Time: 10 December 203520:01

1 - 5. Give me a second here.


- - - Baishou Kazutoki has invited you to a text chat. - - -

Rokuda Rei: Dude how did you know I was just going to send the invite?

Rokuda Rei: That's sort of weird

Baishou Kazutoki: IT'S MON

Baishou Kazutoki: DAY NIGHT

Baishou Kazutoki: whats up Rei how you doin

Rokuda Rei: Baikun you need to tell me sometime

Rokuda Rei: How you managed to disable autocorrect on Limbo.

Rokuda Rei: I got McLaughlin's right here.

Rokuda Rei: *heeeeeeeeeeeeerrrreeeeeeeee

Baishou Kazutoki: sweet shit

Baishou Kazutoki: *actually very not sweet mclaughlins sucks

Baishou Kazutoki: I cant tell what I'm getting because it's not here yet

Rokuda Rei: No shit! You're doing the the SurpriseLivery thing? I guess that makes sense.

Baishou Kazutoki: no

Baishou Kazutoki: i meant i left a time capsule filled with old aged booze and it is programmed to open at exactly 21:30 today

Baishou Kazutoki: of course im doing the surprise livery "thing"

Baishou Kazutoki: and funny enough it's here

Rokuda Rei: Tell me what you get!

Rokuda Rei: *bottle 2

Baishou Kazutoki: fuck rei

Baishou Kazutoki: I got a 40 oz can of hard root beer and a three-pack of premade shots

Rokuda Rei: What kind of shots?

Baishou Kazutoki:I cant tell

Baishou Kazutoki:*shot 1

Baishou Kazutoki: FUCK its tequila or something

Baishou Kazutoki:*shot 2

Rokuda Rei: Slow down Baikun

Rokuda Rei: I have to talk to you about something

Baishou Kazutoki: Okay what is it

Baishou Kazutoki: Keep talking I need to mix this gut-clenching clear shit

Rokuda Rei: I suppose that's part of the Surprise

Rokuda Rei: Anyway

Rokuda Rei: Are we good enough friends that I can ask if you can find something out for me?

Rokuda Rei: Like I can keep it secret and like just hand you a card or something with the request written on it. So you can discard the evidence

Baishou Kazutoki: *shot 3... (another asterisk) is now safely surrounded by a cup of strawberry-pineapple juice

Baishou Kazutoki: So we're good enough friends I guess. I mean of course

Baishou Kazutoki: And I don't have to worry about evidence, miss. so dont you worry about evidnece

Rokuda Rei: All right

Baishou Kazutoki: But what is it? You need dirt on your boss?

Baishou Kazutoki: Are they giving employee evaluation exams next week?

Baishou Kazutoki: I'll do that for free

Baishou Kazutoki: Otherwse I might just do it for free anyways

Rokuda Rei: It's going to sound stupid and you'll probably tell me it's really easy

Baishou Kazutoki: So it's getting dirt on your boss

Rokuda Rei: LOL no. Not yet

Rokuda Rei: Have you ever heard of the Technogangs out west?

Baishou Kazutoki: You mean the Buckets?

Rokuda Rei: Yeah them

Baishou Kazutoki: your boss is a bucket?

Rokuda Rei: No, no. I just picked up a book about them a few months ago and now I'm like totally into finding more and stuff

Rokuda Rei: These guys reportedly don't even use guns. Like when's the last time you heard of a NEW GANG coming up?

Rokuda Rei: Especially after the war.

Rokuda Rei: It's almost like the 1980s again

Rokuda Rei: I have no idea why I like this stuff so much

Baishou Kazutoki: Eh I used to read suzuran too rei

Baishou Kazutoki: okay startin to realiz shots and liverysurprise is bad idea

Baishou Kazutoki: Need food. Must find microwave

Baishou Kazutoki: if you got something else to say i'll be back in a bit

Rokuda Rei: *bottle 3

Baishou Kazutoki: *burrito 1+2 might as well fit the theme of the nigtht

Baishou Kazutoki: Anyway why

Baishou Kazutoki: Aside from like general curosity and interests

Rokuda Rei: I saw this video about Urovi Day yesterday

Rokuda Rei: And they brought up how before one of the last battles was won like they made an ancient chant to a serpent goddess or something

Rokuda Rei: But the other thing they talked about was that some people who fought in the war couldn't get employed so they might've joined up with the Technogangs

Rokuda Rei: Sorry, is it stupid to even ask? I guess maybe I figured they'd keep some sort of data system out there

Rokuda Rei: I guess I should've known better

Rokuda Rei: sorry, Baikun

Baishou Kazutoki: its okay

Baishou Kazutoki: i'm just trying to figure out whether i'd need to charge you and if I can even do it

Rokuda Rei: Can you do it?

Baishou Kazutoki: Rei

Rokuda Rei: Baikun

Baishou Kazutoki: I can fucknn do it but i'm not sure why you want to do that

Baishou Kazutoki: like cant you just like get into the california wars again you found plenty about those easy

Rokuda Rei: Hey, come on Baikun...

Rokuda Rei: Where's your sense of overcoming a challenge? We're talking here and now!

Baishou Kazutoki: * burrito 3 its working im not so fuckn sick no more

Baishou Kazutoki: i'll see what i can do

Rokuda Rei: Yaaaaaay! You fucking rock, Baishou Kazutoki!

Baishou Kazutoki: yeah well i'm gonna need some time to do it but

Baishou Kazutoki: eh i'm sorta wondering myself too

Rokuda Rei: Thank you!

Rokuda Rei: AND I AM NOT just using your friendship here, either

Rokuda Rei: Maybe we can send our findings to NTTN or something. Get a freelance credit for it!

Baishou Kazutoki: i need more time, dammit

Baishou Kazutoki: STOP IT ROKUDA-CHAN


Baishou Kazutoki: I wonder why they decided to mix booze with root beer

Rokuda Rei: You've never had it before? It's not bad

Rokuda Rei: I remember that my mom used to drink it sometimes. It was confusing that we couldn't have any ourselves.

Rokuda Rei: But there are certainly worse ones

Baishou Kazutoki: we'll see

Baishou Kazutoki: we'll see we got all night together to see, rei

Baishou Kazutoki: I know i just complained about tequila but what if it's ...too sweet

Baishou Kazutoki: like those damn receptionists at restaurants or whatever theyre called

Rokuda Rei: Oh my god! So do you remember Chester at all?

Baishou Kazutoki: no

Rokuda Rei: My friend who lives in Shibuya. The one with green hair and a moustache?

Baishou Kazutoki: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no

Rokuda Rei: Oh. Okay...

Rokuda Rei: Well I'll still tell you about it because it's funny

Rokuda Rei: He sent me this nearly amorous-sounding message about this new assistant he had, some foreigner chick, and that she was this great catch and shit

Rokuda Rei: Well

Rokuda Rei: The girl was 17!

Rokuda Rei: I almost want to send a little message over to the HR at his job about one of their Jr Dept Managers LOL

Baishou Kazutoki: ha, so what exactly did he say?

Rokuda Rei: Here, I have it saved

- - - You sent file 'limbopreserve_237844834623-78344-86457.htxt' - - -

Baishou Kazutoki: oh right, chester

Baishou Kazutoki: where does chester work again?

Rokuda Rei: Breadfixer Bakeries over in Minato

Baishou Kazutoki: sorry rei i gotta go

Rokuda Rei: Oh?

- - - Baishou Kazutoki has signed out. - - -

Rokuda Rei: It's all good, Baikun. Elly's going to be home in a bit. I should clean up before I get another few weeks in the doghouse again

Rokuda Rei: Good night!

- - - You ended the text chat at 22:55. - - -