The Doghouse Again (Prologue)
Prologue: 'The Doghouse Again'
Thank you for choosing Divid.V, recently made the official video hosting site of the New Tokyo City Council for Civic Benefit!
Full Text Transcript
Video: "Littleknown Faxx: Urovi Day Edition!"
by user: Yemming-Outthere362
Posted on: 1 December 2035 at 11:44
Category: Vlogs and History
Video length: 2:19 Views: 2,763
(start of video)
"Hi guys and disbelievers! This is Yemming and it's all still out there!?"
"Urovi Day is coming up soon and I wanted to tell everyone about three surprising truths regarding the holiday and all about the REAL Eurozone War the men and women upstairs don't want YOU to know!"
"Did you know that before fighting broke out in 2025, several Chinese and Japanese corporations attempted to buy shares in European defense companies, figuring they would receive heavy dividends when the conflicts escalated?"
"Heh, I guess they should've kept their investments at home!" (farting noise)
"What happened to the rest?"
"After the signing of the peace treaty, Japan lead all countries in postwar veteran employment." (electric guitar riff)
"Ninety-nine percent of former soldiers were given jobs. But what about the other one percent?" (low C-sharp on a sousaphone)
"Well, some say that they can now be found among the Techo gangs in western Tokyo, and are rumored to be considered first-rate citizens in southern Asian countries where the state hands them businesses such as private security and recycling."
"But not everyone is so sure they emigrated..."
"It has been claimed by several independent reports that a recent surge in organized crime has resulted from these ex-military officers using their combat skills here in a civilian capacity, perhaps in cahoots with the Techo gangs."
"Sounds like they need some retraining! Wooooaaah!"
"The Gods of War!"
"One of the final battles before the first Victory Day went down in Ukraine."
"But did you know... On that December morning, several witnesses are quoted saying a local group of traditional Slavic worshippers were seen making a special prayer to a statue of Veles, or Volos, the Slavic god of the underworld!"
"They say the reason the unlikely victory occurred on that day was because of Veles, known as their regional god of war, magic, and cattle."
"It's also of note that Veles is associated with the Christian idol Saint Nicholas. It's also true that both of them were known to have beards."
"Talk about a Christmas gift!"
"A-okay, guys, I'm out for right now. Make sure you add me to your Limbo page, give me an up-tick here on Divid, watch for my new content every day to expose those lying sons of bitches where they stand!"
(Video ends with one minute of stock rock/trance music)
(end of video)