The Doghouse Again Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

- - - You have invited Alexa S. to a text chat. - - -

- - - Alexa S. has accepted your invitation to a text chat. - - -

Baishou Kazutoki: So you might want to look at this

- - - You sent file 'forsanders.htxt' - - -

- - - FreshMint Silver Exchange has entered the chat. - - -

- - - Dingles Dangles Designer Sofas has entered the chat. - - -

- - - Fullest Stomach's Ramen & Relaxation (official) has entered the chat. - - -

Baishou Kazutoki: Ah fuck

Dingles Dangles Designer Sofas: Hello, Mr. Baishou! We're happy to contact you today with some EXCLUSIVE offers for only our MOST VALUED PATRONS!

Fullest Stomach's Ramen & Relaxation (official): That's right, today only, we are giving our MOST VALUED PATRONS up to 50% all drink orders (with purchase of an eco-sized noodle basket, includes tax).

FreshMint Silver Exchange: Do you have anything you're no longer using and would like to REDEEM FOR CASH? ACT NOW!

Baishou Kazutoki: hey

Baishou Kazutoki: i dont suppose i can sign out now and just walk away and say this didn't happen

Fullest Stomach's Ramen & Relaxation (official): Mr. Baishou, don't let yourself give up so quickly! We have plenty of SPECIAL OFFERS available THIS WEEK ONLY!

Baishou Kazutoki: i forgot which one you were

Baishou Kazutoki: to be honest

Baishou Kazutoki: but cant we just all settle down with some nice kO4FwPXdkR8?

FreshMint Silver Exchange: Because this week is a special week for our company and we'd like to pass the savings OFF to YOU!

Fullest Stomach's Ramen & Relaxation (official): We're celebrating, due to recent changes in the economic environment and after ten happy years of our traditional marketing tactics, we are getting a NEW SLOGAN!

FreshMint Silver Exchange: WE'RE GETTING A BRAND NEW SLOGAN!

Dingles Dangles Designer Sofas: WE ARE GETTING A NEW BRAND SLOGAN!

Baishou Kazutoki: okay. why?

FreshMint Silver Exchange: In fact, Mr. Baishou, our new slogan is IN DIRECT RESPONSE TO our valued patrons like YOU!

Baishou Kazutoki: and how exactly is it my fault?

Baishou Kazutoki: limbo with other agents is against the rules whatever but it's not like i haven't been making sure this stuff isn't totally tight. not even the fucking mods have seen it

Baishou Kazutoki: remember who youre dealing with here fellas

Fullest Stomach's Ramen & Relaxation (official): We always remember our valued customers, Mr. Baishou! Please consider us for YOUR next birthday, New Years, or GOING AWAY party!

FreshMint Silver Exchange: That's correct, Mr. Baishou! It's OUT with the OLD and in the NEW! Right in time for 2036 we are asking YOU, our patrons, what you think our NEXT SLOGAN should be!

Dingles Dangles Designer Sofas: WE ARE GETTING A NEW BRAND SLOGAN!

Dingles Dangles Designer Sofas: 0% FINANCING UNTIL 2038!

Baishou Kazutoki: yeah uhhhh

Baishou Kazutoki: how does limbo chatting with sanders (btw don't blame her for this) make it so we have to change some sort of policy aside from the one i broke

Baishou Kazutoki: and so basically the only thing you'd want to do is access my account to make sure i haven't been talking to the cops or buckets or somethin, which i haven't.

Baishou Kazutoki: btw ive been researching the buckets a little bit

Dingles Dangles Designer Sofas: We apologize, but we are currently OUT of stock for that size recliner in the selected color!

FreshMint Silver Exchange: This week we are going all OUT for you, our valued patrons! Give us your unwanted or dirty jewelery and we'll give you cash!

Baishou Kazutoki: so you looked then

Fullest Stomach's Ramen & Relaxation (official): There's no need to worry, Mr. Baishou! All the cooking has been TAKEN CARE of with our new convenient FAMILY dinner takeout boxes!

Baishou Kazutoki: next time i'll train carrier pigeons. yep, okay, sure, "no electronic communication regarding matters in any way related to the company", yep.

FreshMint Silver Exchange: NOT SO FAST, Mr. Baishou! Allow us to describe EXACTLY WHAT WE ARE OFFERING YOU!

FreshMint Silver Exchange: Get a ninety percent discount to your next order. Layaway plans start at 1,000 yen/month!

FreshMint Silver Exchange: And it's all in celebration of OUR NEW SLOGAN!

Baishou Kazutoki: wait you haven't said why we're changing that

Baishou Kazutoki: which is probably a good idea anyway.

FreshMint Silver Exchange: We know each of our valued patrons LIKED OUR OLD SLOGAN! However, TIMES ARE ALWAYS CHANGING! Vote today!

Baishou Kazutoki: you said you checked my account right

Baishou Kazutoki: there's nothing on there that'd make you do that

Baishou Kazutoki: we haven't changed it since i've fucking worked here.

Baishou Kazutoki: so like i said yeah it'd probably be good for us to do. it was pretty stupid anyway with how open it was

- - - Freedom Security and Domestic Defense, LLC. has entered the chat. - - -

Baishou Kazutoki: ah fuck

Baishou Kazutoki: again

Fullest Stomach's Ramen & Relaxation (official): We're sorry, but we have NEVER RECEIVED an order from YOUR ACCOUNT before. Could you please register or make us a FRIEND on LIMBO?

Baishou Kazutoki: wait

Baishou Kazutoki: so you mean

FreshMint Silver Exchange: Isn't there a special lady in your life? Trade in last year's necklace for your newest sweetheart!

Dingles Dangles Designer Sofas: Our three-piece furniture sets are the favorite among police officers and other state employees!

Fullest Stomach's Ramen & Relaxation (official): We have over 30 locations all over Tokyo! A bowl of ramen is NEVER FAR AWAY!

Baishou Kazutoki: god dammit

Baishou Kazutoki: don't involve her in this okay she's not a cop

Baishou Kazutoki: and she doesn't know anything if she was

Dingles Dangles Designer Sofas: We know you're lying on a couch that just isn't comfortable enough for you!

FreshMint Silver Exchange: FreshMint Silver Exchange retains the right to deny any customer it chooses.

Fullest Stomach's Ramen & Relaxation (official): We do not offer refills.

- - - FreshMint Silver Exchange sent you 'ReturnsPolicy.htxt' - - -

Baishou Kazutoki: come on fellas

Baishou Kazutoki: so she might be thinking something's up but let me handle it

Baishou Kazutoki: i always do right?

Fullest Stomach's Ramen & Relaxation (official): We will be closed all 5 December for Urovi Day.

Dingles Dangles Designer Sofas: CURRENTLY OUT OF STOCK.

FreshMint Silver Exchange: No.

FreshMint Silver Exchange: This is your last chance, Mr. Baishou.

Fullest Stomach's Ramen & Relaxation (official): Please refer to your nearest Fullest Stomach's location for a more detailed description of this special demotion.

Dingles Dangles Designer Sofas: Never think there IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT that squeaky old chair!

FreshMint Silver Exchange: Our competitors would kill for the types of savings we're presenting on his or her matching bracelets!

Fullest Stomach's Ramen & Relaxation (official): This offer won't last forever!

Fullest Stomach's Ramen & Relaxation (official): We're waiting, Mr. Baishou.

Baishou Kazutoki: you guys want a new slogan

Baishou Kazutoki: here's a fucking slogan

Baishou Kazutoki: you should never let anyone believe in you

Baishou Kazutoki: na

Baishou Kazutoki: you should believe only in the team

- - - You ended the text chat at 1:01. - - -

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- - - You have invited Mary B. Curt to a voice chat. - - -

- - - Mary B. Curt has accepted your invitation to a voice chat. - - -

- - - You ended the voice chat at 1:03. - - -

- - - Mary B. Curt has signed out. - - -

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- - - You have received an invitation to a text chat from Baishou Kazutoki. - - -

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Limbomail: from Limbo! message sending service

To: Rokuda Rei

From: Baishou Kazutoki

Subject: CHECK THIS REI SOON PLEASE

Sent Date/Time: 15 December 2035    1:05

Rei I need to tell you something right now. Everything is probably going to change for you in a few minutes and I want you to be prepared.

For one, you're in danger. Is Elly at work? If she is make sure she stays there.

WE NEED TO TALK WHEN YOU GET THIS.

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From: Baishou Kazutoki (re: CHECK THIS SOON PLEASE)

Sent Date/Time: 15 December 2035    1:08

I need to say who I really am is me and it's always been me talking to you.

So when you asked me about the Buckets I decided to see what we could find but I had my own reasons to do it.

Those veterans that chump with the video talked about? Yeah they didn't join the Buckets because they joined up with a different group. How do I know that? I just do.

A group you've probably never heard of until now...even you, Rei. They make the Buckets look like the shitbrained loose-cannon tikes they are.

So I had to just take like 20 steps to make sure this email isn't getting traced. I just figured out they fucking tapped my apartment AND my mic otherwise I'd just voicecall you. Because I want to explain it to you sometime.

It might not be what you think it is.

I really hope I haven't ruined everything for you. I'll do my best from here. I promise you that.

WE NEED TO CHAT WHEN YOU GET THIS. NO VOICE. JUST TEXT.

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